As I have mentioned in previous posts, we have an open adoption, and have reconnected with birth grandparents, an older birth sibling and a birth aunt. Whereas, hubby and I personally have spoken to the children’s birth mother, it has been two years since the children have.

This past Friday, while talking to their first mom, I broached the subject with her of possibly talking to the kids again. She said that though hard for her, she really did want to, so we decided to do it right then and I called the kids in. I told them it was “Mama ____ (her first name)”, and since... more

Life has its dichotomies – life and death; good and evil; and today, I met one up-close and personal … I call it the Agony and the Ecstasy.

Ever since the road trip, I’ve missed my kids unbearably at times. Talking to them is a sweet joy and yet, a bittersweet reminder that they are still several states away. I spoke to them today on the phone, and before hanging up, my daughter quickly whispered, “Bye … I love you, Mama.” That was music to my... more

Our lawyer woke us up this morning with the glorious news that we now, officially, have a birthmother!

We actually “met” our birthmother via phone for the first time last week, and it was a wonderful hour-long conversation filled with our mutual love of these two precious kids.

So today, we give thanks:

• Thanks to God – Every step of this process has been orchestrated by Him • Thanks for our birthmother – For her selfless and generous love of her children • Thanks for our new children – That they will use the safe haven of our love and our home as a place to thrive, grow, process and explore • Thanks for our new family – We have a new nuclear family... more

Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye. (Matthew 7:1-5, NASB)

If... more

Yesterday we planned an outing with our older son’s birth mom and her family, to celebrate the birthday of our younger son (did I mention that open adoption can be kind of complex?).

Since we are busy families with crazy work schedules, our outings are quite loosely planned. In other words, we agreed to do something on Saturday, and that something involved meeting for pizza somewhere. Since we live in the Seattle area, there are a lot of choices about where to meet for pizza.

So yesterday at 4:15 p.m., we agreed to meet at Chuck E. Cheese’s. It was early in the day; how could they possibly be busy? Jen’s girls, who are 4 and 2, were tired, and we... more

We're halfway through National Adoption Month. While the media tends to focus this month on creating awareness of the 120,000+ children in foster care who are waiting to be adopted, I like to view it as a month for everyone touched by adoption to celebrate.

I was reading the November issue of the BirthMom Buds Bulletin and came across an article by Melanie Mosberg that explains National Adoption Month from a birth mom’s perspective. Melanie writes:

White... more

In the previous post, I introduced you to Jessica, a woman who placed a baby for adoption and now is engaged to be married. She asks Abby to advise her how she should tell her future children about their half-brother.

Abby responds:

I do not agree that your children should be told “from their earliest memory” that they have a half-brother who was adopted by another family. It will be easier for them to understand when... more

‘Jessica in South Carolina’ wrote a letter to ‘Dear Abby,’ explaining that during her freshman year in college, she placed her newborn son for adoption. She receives frequent updates and pictures from her son’s parents and says she has no regrets about her decision.

Jessica is now engaged to be married, and during premarital counseling, the question arose as to how they would tell their future children about Jessica’s son. She and her fiancé agreed that they would like their children to know about their half-brother from their earliest memory.

Jessica’s... more

The Fed-Ex lady just dropped off a gorgeous bouquet of flowers – a Mother’s Day gift from our son’s birth mom. Jen has been asking me for the past two weeks if we can get together on Mother’s Day to have lunch. My niece is graduating from college Sunday and I’ll be attending that her graduation, so Jen and I made plans to ‘do’ lunch someday soon, instead.

Jen is a very thoughtful person – she’s always sending cards and making sure that everyone feels cared for. At one point, she seriously considered buying a Hallmark shop because she had invested so much money in greeting... more

If you're looking for something special to give your child's birth mother for Mother's Day, check out the new "Adoption is Love" bracelet by Crystal Cave Design.

Kathie Scrimgeour, the bracelet's designer, donates 40 percent of the proceeds to one of four organizations that supports adoption (the purchaser chooses which one): The Dave Thomas Foundation, Colorado Heritage Camps, and Pearl... more