‘Jessica in South Carolina’ wrote a letter to ‘Dear Abby,’ explaining that during her freshman year in college, she placed her newborn son for adoption. She receives frequent updates and pictures from her son’s parents and says she has no regrets about her decision.

Jessica is now engaged to be married, and during premarital counseling, the question arose as to how they would tell their future children about Jessica’s son. She and her fiancé agreed that they would like their children to know about their half-brother from their earliest memory.

Jessica’s... more

A grandma-to-be e-mailed me this week, saying that her daughter will be placing her baby for adoption in an open adoption. She asks:

When we go to the hospital, I would like to give the adoptive mom a present for the baby from my husband and I. Do you have any suggestions?

She also says that she’d like to write her grandson a letter, and wonders whether that would be necessary, since it will be an open adoption.

I suggested some items grandma could give her grandson, based on the gifts our sons received from... more

The Fed-Ex lady just dropped off a gorgeous bouquet of flowers – a Mother’s Day gift from our son’s birth mom. Jen has been asking me for the past two weeks if we can get together on Mother’s Day to have lunch. My niece is graduating from college Sunday and I’ll be attending that her graduation, so Jen and I made plans to ‘do’ lunch someday soon, instead.

Jen is a very thoughtful person – she’s always sending cards and making sure that everyone feels cared for. At one point, she seriously considered buying a Hallmark shop because she had invested so much money in greeting... more

If you're looking for something special to give your child's birth mother for Mother's Day, check out the new "Adoption is Love" bracelet by Crystal Cave Design.

Kathie Scrimgeour, the bracelet's designer, donates 40 percent of the proceeds to one of four organizations that supports adoption (the purchaser chooses which one): The Dave Thomas Foundation, Colorado Heritage Camps, and Pearl... more

“Your son looks so much like you and your husband – he looks as if he could be part of your family.”

“He is part of our family,” I reply.

“You know what I mean,” says my new acquaintance.

I am silent. I know what’s coming.

“He resembles you so closely. You’d never know that he’s not your real child.”

Adoptive families are regularly assailed by acquaintances who make thoughtless remarks in the presence of our children. We can choose to ignore the remarks, make an angry retort, answer graciously or respond with a little sly humor.

One... more

The worst fear of every parent who adopts domestically is that a birth parent will decide he or she wants the child back. That’s exactly what happened in two custody battles that culminated in two very different outcomes.

The first case involved a Florida boy, now 4 ½, whose birth mother placed him for adoption in May 2001, when he was two days old. A month before the adoption was supposed to be finalized, the boy’s biological father filed a motion demanding custody. At that time, the judge informed the adoptive parents that the birth father would likely gain custody.

The birth mother supported the adoption until it appeared the court might grant the birth... more

May 13 is a day set aside specially to honor birth mothers. In 1990, a group of Seattle birthmothers gathered on the Saturday before Mother's Day to honor their motherhood of the children they gave life to. Thus, Birthmother's Day was born.

Now Birthmother's Day is a widespread holiday in the adoption community with many groups holding special events and services to honor birthmothers on this day.

Birthmother's Day Event in South Carolina On May 13th, 2006, a group of birthmothers will be holding a celebration at Lifepoint Community Church in Greenville, SC. Registration is from 9:30-10 a.m.

This free event is for any and all birthmothers,... more

When a woman places her child for adoption, others in her immediate family – particularly her parents – are directly impacted by her decision. Birth grandparents experience a sense of helplessness and grief in an adoption because their grandchild is being raised by parents they don’t know, and they may never get the chance to see their grandchild again.

Several Internet resources address issues specific to birth grandparents. Here are a few links, courtesy of the founders of BirthMom Buds:

“Birth Grandparents: What is Your Role?” – Discusses the rights grandparents... more

The Internet offers some wonderful Christian groups for all those touched by adoption.

During the past few months, I’ve had the opportunity to exchange frequent e-mails with Coley Strickland, one of the founders of a Christian ministry called BirthMom Buds.

BirthMom Buds offers peer counseling, support, encouragement, and friendship to pregnant women considering adoption as well as women who have already placed children for adoption.

One of the highlights of their ministry is their Pregnant and Placing... more