“To Tell or Not to Tell”

For our family, the decision “to tell or not to tell” each teacher is an ongoing one. Our kids were adopted domestically, are Caucasian and one of them shares similar coloring with my husband. People generally assume that they are our biological children. So we could easily “get away with” not saying anything about their adoption and no one would be the wiser.

No one but us, that is. While I’m not hung up on the fact that our children were adopted – most of the time, I don’t even think about it – I want to protect them from getting hurt by insensitive comments made to them by their teachers and/or classmates.

So every year... more

One of my readers commented on my previous post, "Talking About Adoption in Elementary School."

He writes: We adopted a son (now 4 1/2 yrs) and a daughter (now 7 yrs) from Russia almost four years ago. My daughter is now in first grade and is just starting to confront questions about her adoption.

We have never hidden the fact from her that she is from another country, and she has been quite proud of it until now. She's starting to attend friends' birthday and slumber parties. When I ask her if she has told anyone that she's adopted from another country, she says no and quickly... more

Talking About Adoption in Elementary School

In my previous post, I explained some ways that parents can help their school-age children approach genealogy assignments such as a family tree assignment, an autobiography, or the ever-popular “Star of the Week” assignment.

It got me to thinking about questions my own kids encounter at school. Our older son came home from first grade in tears one day, saying, “I told my class I was adopted, and they didn’t believe me!”

Apparently his teacher, too, hadn’t fully believed him, thinking that he was saying that as an attention-getting... more

In my last two posts, I’ve introduced you to my own complex family tree. Although our tree is a Ponderosa Pine, with a thick, sturdy trunk and lots of roots and branches, its complexity didn't really worry me until my children began attending elementary school. Then I discovered the dreaded "Star of the Week" assignment that recurs every year from kindergarten through third grade.

That's the assignment where the child has to draw his family tree and/or submit a gigantic poster filled with photos of himself from birth to the present day. Since we adopted our children at birth, we had lots of baby pictures on hand,... more