Part 3 of 4

In the previous two posts, I addressed questions first/birth parents ask when meeting prospective adoptive parents: How do you define open adoption? What is your commitment to openness, and why? Are you willing to sign an agreement to that effect, and to seek mediation if things break down? In an open adoption, what will we... more

Part 2 of 4

In the previous post, I addressed two questions first/birth parents ask when meeting prospective adoptive parents: How do you define open adoption? What is your commitment to openness, and why? Today, I continue my thoughts about open adoption.

Are you willing to sign an agreement to that effect, and to seek mediation if things break down? Some states have laws governing open adoption, and both parties sign... more

Part 1 of 4: Your Commitment to Openness in Adoption

I enjoyed Heather’s post in her Crisis Pregnancy Blog about questions to ask prospective adoptive parents. All of her questions are excellent and I strongly encourage adoptive parents-to-be to review them and consider how you’d respond.

Several of the questions Heather poses require ongoing conversation (and sometimes negotiation) among birth and adoptive families. In the next series of posts,... more

Continued from previous post

Some people “poo poo” the idea that God has a hand in bringing together adoptive families and birth families. But I’ve seen His divine hand working in so many ways in my own life during the past 13 years that I refuse to attribute it to fate or coincidence.

While my husband and I were praying for the child we hoped would someday be ours, his birth parents were also praying for him – for the family that would someday be his. The very evening we met, our prayers converged and were answered.

Our son’s birth mom has told... more

In domestic newborn adoptions, some degree of continuing contact among the birth and adoptive families is now the norm. In addition, prospective adoptive parents will likely be encouraged to meet the woman (and possibly, the man) who are pregnant with the child they hope to adopt – before the child’s birth.

As I discussed in my mega, 18-part series that detailed our own adoption story (see Part 6: “The Big Meeting”), every pregnant couple who was interested in selecting us to... more

I just heard from a woman who placed her newborn son for adoption two months ago. Her son's adoptive parents are regularly sending her pictures of her son (I believe it was part of their adoption agreement).

Her quandry: "I feel I do not deserve the photos because I gave him up. Will it do him any good to know that he was adopted? Should I just mind my own business and learn to accept that he is none of my concern?"

I e-mailed her my response but before I reveal what I said, I'd like to hear from birth parents, adopted people and adoptive parents.

What advice would you give this woman? What are the short-term and long-term... more

When our 13-year-old son was 4, his birth mom married a wonderful man whom we’ve dubbed “step birth dad.” They have two little girls, the oldest of whom is 3 ½. One day at preschool, their daughter drew a family tree. When she brought the picture home, her mom commented that the family tree had lots of branches on it.

The little girl explained the branches to her mom: “This is Mommy. This is Daddy. This is me. This is my sister.” And then, pointing to the picture of our son (her half-brother), she said, “This is my brother.” Finally, pointing to the picture of our other son (no biological relation to her), she said, “And this is my other brother.”

Her mom was... more