Christian Adoption

What exactly does it mean when we say that we adopted embryos? We “adopted” one batch of embryos directly from the genetic parents back in 2011. We transferred two of them into my uterus at a time, but both attempts failed. I mourned the loss of those little ones as though they had lived in my home before passing on. I made a special tribute for them, named them, and collected little mementos to remember them by. At the time, I remember thinking that they may have been as close as I’ll ever get to being a mother, so it was important for me to have something tangible to remind me of this fact.

Then… [more]

As Christians, we like to liken adoption to our own relationship with God. After all, John 1:12 states that “to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God.” Yet by adopting us as His own, God in no way denies us our earthly parents. In fact, we are commanded to honor and respect them: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and your mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), So that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the Earth” (Ephesians 6:1-3). God is not threatened by our relationship with our parents, so why do so many… [more]

I’m not sure how I feel about the importance given to the nuclear family by American society. I don’t mean that it’s not important, but rather, that it’s treated as a supreme family unit, to the exclusion of the extended family. I believe this is a contributing factor to what many are observing as a deterioration of family values. For starters, grandparents have no rights to their grandchildren. Right away, people defend the parents’ right to make all decisions regarding their children, without their parents’ input. Why the defensiveness? Generally speaking, each parent already has to share their rights and responsibilities with their co-parent. Only in custody cases or situations where both parents have not been… [more]

The day we found out about our infertility diagnosis was the day I started to pursue adoption.  There was no doubt in my mind that because adoption was a wonderful thing to do, it was the thing God wanted us to pursue.  This was a mistake. Adoption is a calling, and just because it is a good thing, it is not something that every believer is called to do. The adoption process, and even more so adoptive parenting, takes certain skills and strengths.  It is not enough to have “the right values” of compassion, patience, open-mindedness.  Adoption is not just another way to serve God by doing good deeds. God calls each of His children to different tasks in this life.  Our job… [more]

Time and time again in the New Testament, we read truths and insights that the Apostle Paul wrote to believers in churches throughout the known world at the time.  And time and time again, we hear Paul talk about his weaknesses, his struggles, and the thorn in his flesh.  He writes about his weakness, not to bring attention to himself, but to point the readers’ attention to the True Source of his strength, Jesus Christ. In 2 Corinthians 12:9 (KJV), Paul writes, “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power… [more]

I don’t remember the exact age when I began to have a yearning for adoption and the orphans of the world. I don’t think I was much older than a mere child myself, but I began to see something wrong with the picture in front of me. Why did I have parents who loved me, a home where I felt safe, and a family I could call my own, while others did not? I told my parents at that time, “I’m going to adopt children someday!” It didn’t stop there. Even as a young person, I started to cling to places where I heard of injustices happening with children, and one of the first I centered on was China. As a female, my heart broke… [more]

Aside from Jesus Christ, the only sinless man to ever walk on the face of the earth, nothing is perfect.  Christians are not perfect.  We mess up.  Every day brings another chance to try to get it right, but inevitably, we still fail at being anywhere close to the perfect parent or perfect spouse.   We can, however, get up every day and know that God’s mercies are new and we are still loved by Him. And it works.  We can continue to walk this path because we have an eternal hope in a God who sees all and knows all.  Above all else, He is a PERFECT God with PERFECT plans. As believers, we are called to holiness, and we are adopted as… [more]

In the rush of every day life, we forget.  In the constant face of one demand or another being placed upon us, our thoughts stray from the truth of the foundation that built this family.  We began our journey in September 1997.  Nearly fourteen years have passed, and those years have definitely held more than enough circumstances to distract us from our original purpose and goal. We wanted a family.  We were serving in a ministry and believed that our life’s purpose was to work full-time with that particular ministry.  Those were our plans for our life together.  Married in December 1996, we moved quickly to wanting children and planning and trying to have a baby, but we were also made aware of… [more]

Have you ever been in a difficult conversation with someone and suddenly the right words just fly out of your mouth? You find yourself sitting in awe of the genius comment you just made but wondering where it came from. You're sure that your brain has never concocted such a miraculous bit of information before but you're also sure that the words came out of your mouth. I might be a bit slow but I've begun to realize that when the miraculous flings itself from my mouth, it is generally the Holy Spirit speaking. Now, I don't want to get too crazy here but I do believe in the Power of the Spirit of God to provide us with the words to help someone in need… [more]

Both of our sons have some level of Reactive Attachment Disorder along with some other difficult diagnoses. These issues create a great deal of difficulty when it comes to creating that special bond that parents have with their children. Biological parents, for the most part, have no difficulty when it comes to bonding with their children. The essential parent/child bond happens within minutes of birth and continues to grow naturally as the child grows. It is not a conscious effort that must be put forth by mom and dad. This is not so for the parents of children with attachment difficulties. Everything in the lives of my children prior to arriving in our home has conditioned them to believe that adults cannot be trusted and ultimately, that… [more]