Christian Adoption

Have you ever been in a difficult conversation with someone and suddenly the right words just fly out of your mouth? You find yourself sitting in awe of the genius comment you just made but wondering where it came from. You're sure that your brain has never concocted such a miraculous bit of information before but you're also sure that the words came out of your mouth. I might be a bit slow but I've begun to realize that when the miraculous flings itself from my mouth, it is generally the Holy Spirit speaking. Now, I don't want to get too crazy here but I do believe in the Power of the Spirit of God to provide us with the words to help someone in need… [more]

Both of our sons have some level of Reactive Attachment Disorder along with some other difficult diagnoses. These issues create a great deal of difficulty when it comes to creating that special bond that parents have with their children. Biological parents, for the most part, have no difficulty when it comes to bonding with their children. The essential parent/child bond happens within minutes of birth and continues to grow naturally as the child grows. It is not a conscious effort that must be put forth by mom and dad. This is not so for the parents of children with attachment difficulties. Everything in the lives of my children prior to arriving in our home has conditioned them to believe that adults cannot be trusted and ultimately, that… [more]

I don't know if you have ever browsed the photolisting of children in your state who are waiting to be adopted. Maybe you are afraid of kids in foster care or you really want a baby and not an older child. As a Christian, a mom, and an adoptive mom, I would highly recommend that you find that site and spend some time reading about those kids. Children in foster care have the ability to describe for their worker what type of family they want to be a part of. So many of the children who are waiting are requesting that they be a part of a family who goes to church. Both of our sons listed that as a requirement of a family that they… [more]

I've learned along the way that my children are often amazing reminders of how much the Lord loves each of us. I sit in my rocking chair and ask God again and again to help me sustain during these hard times of testing. Our youngest child pushes and pushes. Tonight my dear husband and I talked about the possibility of putting him in a therapeutic facility if he continues to increase in violence as he gets older and larger. Having any of our children live anywhere other than in our home is not something I am ever interested in doing. I realize that I cannot know what to expect from our son and that could potentially be a problem. It hurts my heart that he… [more]

Tonight I am sitting here frustrated and overwhelmed by my oldest son, T. Lately he has been reverting back to behaviors he had when he first arrived in our home nearly 14 months ago. He is up at night, wandering the house, doing everything he can to wake me up. He says that he wants me to pay more attention to him. Pay more attention to me is T's mantra. He always wants me to pay more attention to him and any attention I pay to anyone else is proof that I don't pay enough attention to him. I just don't know what to do. So I pray. I know that so many of you reach your point of frustration and anger. We all arrive at… [more]

Throughout our journey to adopt our sons from the foster care system we have encountered many people who, in conversation, volunteer their lists of reasons why they cannot adopt. I am often surprised at how many of these people are Christian. They will tell us how wonderful they think we are because we "saved" our kids. They tell us that we are special, that it takes a special person to adopt. They tell us that they don't have enough money, enough space, enough time to adopt. They even tell us that they don't feel "called" to help, to adopt these kids. I cringe at the mere suggestion that one could be excluded from the call to help the orphans. James 1:27 (NIV) says "Religion that… [more]

I’ve been blessed to share my adoption journey with all of you for the last 21 months. You walked me through all the paperwork; helped me find productive things to do during the excruciating wait; went on a virtual trip with me to meet the kids; celebrated with me when the adoption was finalized; and helped me through the post-adoptive transition. You listened as I catalogued my day to day issues with PTSD the whole Pee Saga, behavioral and emotional issues. When my oldest was diagnosed with epilepsy, you supported me. When my mom passed away, you wrote me notes and posted your condolences. This last year, with my son’s new diagnosis (though he is doing well now!)… [more]

A post from last week detailed the latest power struggle here at Casa Stro. I’m loath to mete out harsh penalties because of the things my kids have gone through in their previous lives, but at the same time I feel that allowing them to “get away” with things under the guise of “cuteness” or “felling sorry” for them, is a great disservice. Some behaviors may be “cute” at an early age, or, if not “cute” at least not a punishable offense, but it ceases to be cute at 15...or 21...0r 40. Thus, I feel obligated to correct my children as the Bible commands, by bringing them up in the “instruction and discipline of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4), so that they can enjoy a life… [more]

I’ve stated here many times that our adoption story was utterly a “God thing.” It’s so clear how God was working in our lives: from the fact that the social worker, five states away, assigned to our kids’ case, went to college with my first cousin; to being able to find a 4-bedroom home in one of the most densely compacted areas of the country; to seeing pictures of the kids for the first time, and seeing how uncanny the resemblance was to my biological son, as well as my husband and I; to meeting total strangers on our airplane trip to meet them for the first time, who knew not only the foster parents, but the kids, too! So many other little “quirks” to let… [more]

"If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple" (Luke 14:26). I can’t speak for all adoptive parents, however, I suspect I’m not the only one with biases. I love both of my adopted children tremendously, but I feel as though it seems like my biological child is my “favorite.” Honestly, I think it’s more a case of Dorothy and the Scarecrow from “The Wizard of Oz.” At the end of the movie, Dorothy says she’ll miss the Scarecrow the most, because she knew him the longest and they had been through the most together. I’ve known my biological child for over 10 years; my… [more]